Suffering is a Constant (Q.E.D.)

Why did the peacock cross the road, dragging his tailfeathers behind him?

Because, he can. Traffic will stop. [I was headed downhill, at the time.] The car behind me stopped. An approaching car stopped. We waited patiently while he changed direction, crossing back whence he came.

Before that, though, I had made it to the top of Montebello Road.

It's been awhile (nearly four years!), but I know what to expect: a steep start, a steep finish, and merely uphill in the middle. Still, one mile into the climb, I doubted whether I could make it. Four-point-three more miles? I expected the initial steep part would be shorter than it is. The landmark “flag” mailbox is gone; I think it's covered with sparkly stars, now.

This was my choice, today, for me and my chief ride buddy. For two reasons: Number one, the wineries are still closed (less traffic!). Number two, it's not a magnet for driving enthusiasts (it's a dead end). Though I did choose to pull aside twice (uphill, and downhill) for a small petroleum tanker—driven by a guy who was clearly very comfortable with the twisty road.

This wasn't my fastest time up this hill (not race pace); but I was three and a half minutes faster than on my last visit.

For the day, 39 miles, 3,090 feet of climbing (we took the flat route, back). Looking at my stats, my average and peak heart rates today were the same as they were in 2016. But there's the rub: the level of suffering is the same, you just get faster.

WFH: Week Thirteen

Last week, I felt it was time to reduce the frequency of these dispatches, as I will be working from home for (possibly) the rest of this year. But this week, I do have some words to say.

I don't know what the history books will make of this ugly period in our nation's history, but it will not be kind. (Nor, should it be.)

I watched footage of protesters, having stopped traffic on one of our local freeways, bashing at the windows of the trapped cars. I felt terrified, and I wasn't even one of those drivers. I recognized that I am privileged not to feel afraid as I go about the ordinary business of living my life.

Are we the only species that has evolved to be cruel? To take satisfaction, or even pleasure, from inflicting suffering on others? I don't know anyone who raised their children to be cruel; but if, for some sad reason, your family did, please ... rise above it.

I am old enough to remember the tumult that swelled during the 1960's. My family fled the city for the suburbs, and it took me a few days to sort out what was unsettling about my new school.

All the faces were white.

My urban school hadn't been heavily integrated, but there were black and brown faces among my classmates. Even as a child, I found myself uncomfortable in a place where everyone looked just like me.

Last fall, I waited to cross a major thoroughfare that bisects our campus. A family (mom, dad, and toddler in a stroller) waited alongside me. I wondered why they were there; not because they were Black, but because the nearest park and the nearest residential area is some distance away.

I smiled at them. The father scowled at me. “Are you one of them geniuses that work here?” he asked.

Ouch. There was a lifetime of pain behind that question.

“No,” I smiled, “but I work with some!” The walk signal started counting down. It's a wide street, but the normally impatient drivers waited without turning across our path.

“Hah,” I said. “We got some respect, for your baby; normally they just drive right on through.” That led to a little pleasant conversation before we parted ways, and I left wondering what that toddler's life experience will be. Better than that of her parents, I hoped.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

More than 56 years have passed—a lifetime, for some—since Martin Luther King Jr. spoke those words. The content of the character of too many of our leaders, and fellow citizens, is appalling.

Not the Tippity-Top

It was windy, but I decided to head for one of my favorite climbs, anyway. I could always bail out. [Right, like that's gonna happen.] My chief ride buddy turned back, but there are always other cyclists on this route. Fewer today, than usual—but possibly some pros? I was passed a couple of times on the climb by helmet-less guys moving at least three times faster than I was. And I saw one descending, disturbingly close to the rear of a car with a bike racked on top.

The observatory is closed to the public, at present, denying us the opportunity to reach the highest point. I made a left at the top to capture some less familiar vistas from San Antonio Valley Road. I definitely didn't have the stamina to add the backside climb today, unlike one couple I overheard. The woman was ready to continue. “We still have 75 miles to go,” she told her companion. [Yikes.] “It's 50 to Livermore. It will be getting dark, normally we'd have started this ride much earlier.”

The temperature at the top was only 50 degrees, and the wind was gusting to 20 mph. Why didn't I think to bring a lightweight jacket for the descent? My toes got cold, and I kept my teeth from chattering only through the sheer force of will. Descend slowly for less wind chill, or descend fast to spend less time being chilled? Those are your options.

There were a few clusters of sports car racer-wanna-bes driving the narrow mountain road today. As well as the occasional SUV that kept going to the top—despite the hand-lettered signs placed at manageable turn-around points, warning that the observatory is closed. I watched one car pause at the top, the occupants seemingly bewildered that there was no place to park.

By happenstance, I found this unusual specimen when I stopped to admire a cluster of wildflowers. It was the only one of its type.

Biking 39 miles is no big deal, but climbing 4,995 feet on my road bike definitely engaged some underutilized muscles. Aches, soreness ... it's all good.

WFH: Week Twelve

I had a most unusual dream this week: I was walking down the aisle of a supermarket, and there on the shelf were a few packages of toilet paper. And facial tissues. [True story.]

When the novel coronavirus emerged, I took in the news with some alarm—at a distance. I'd understood, in an academic way, that such an event was possible (inevitable, really). I just didn't expect to see it, in my lifetime.

As the pandemic began to build, I was grateful for the privilege to switch to working from home. But at the same time, I could not see how this would end.

As the virus began to spread in our county, I was grateful for the protective course set by our leaders. I was puzzled that people were hoarding bottled water and toilet paper. I did not expect that, three months later, our markets would still be struggling to stock even facial tissue.

I surveyed my food supply; would I have enough to eat if I needed to quarantine myself for two weeks? And if I became sick, what might I want to eat?

I surveyed my medicine cabinet; I didn't have enough fever-reducing medication to get through one week. I was not alone in that anxiety; the shelves had been stripped bare, everywhere. It was a massive relief when I found one last box at my local pharmacy.

As more became known about symptoms and severity, having a pulse oximeter seemed sensible—the better to notice a decline in lung function before too much damage might be done.

Working from home is now the norm, not the novelty. Our team can work effectively, but so many opportunities that organically develop from serendipitous connections and conversations are lost, now.

I believe the safest course is to minimize close, unprotected or prolonged interactions with other people, and I can do that. Even as restrictions are relaxed, I will watch, and wait.

Five years ago this week I found comfort venturing out on a simple and familiar route: just one hill to climb.

The week opened with a confirmed 2617 cases of COVID-19 in our county, and closed with 2776 (a 6.1% increase).

The end is not in sight. One hill at a time.

Spring Squall

With thundershowers in the forecast, my ride buddy and I scrapped our plans. Being exposed on the flanks of Mt. Hamilton would not be prudent.

The morning was dry, though I could see patches of precipitation on the weather radar. And I did rather want to ride.

Because I did, after all, have a goal: one more selfie to complete my personal bike bingo challenge.

I headed for a Saturday farmers' market in a nearby town. Should I make a (hillier) loop of it, or a longer (flatter) ride by tracing an out-and-back? I turned right for the longer option, and ... seeing no traffic in sight I made a spontaneous u-turn. Hillier, it would be.

The market was big and bustling; I stayed clear of the perimeter. I needed only a photo; no produce, today.

I'd felt the occasional sprinkle, until (just a couple of miles from home) I was caught in a downpour. [Payback for claiming it wouldn't rain again until the fall.] I could have found a spot to wait it out, but the words of a wise man echoed in my head: You will not melt.

Should I take the usual route, cutting through the park? It should be empty, given the weather. [It wasn't. But I would have avoided the trails anyway.] A simple 11 mile loop with 460 feet of climbing.

Into each life, some rain must fall. [And I didn't melt.]

Nowhere Ride

With the possibility of record-breaking temperatures over the next few days, there was only one way—get up, get out, and get back before it gets too hot.

To the post office, and then a little ride before the work week resumes tomorrow (just 15 miles and a mere 300 feet of climbing). A ride to nowhere in particular, a ride to pick up a few more selfies for a bingo challenge of my own design. Leaving just one more to collect, maybe mid-week.

But then, what?

He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

WFH: Week Eleven

Ten years ago this week I pedaled up a difficult hill to watch a stage of the Tour of California. The organizers pulled the plug on this year's race, long before COVID-19 emerged.

This was a short week (thanks to an extra day off) during which ... nothing remarkable happened. And, like so many others, I'm feeling a bit housebound—despite getting out and biking 59 miles.

I found that free day to be surprisingly unsettling. Is this what it would be like to retire without a plan? Wake up with nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to visit? Sure, there are plenty of chores I've endlessly deferred, but at some point I'll work my way through all of them. [It will take a while, truth be told.]

But then, what?

My life has been pretty structured for a long time. Monday through Friday, work (and sometimes bike). Saturday, bike. Sunday is typically reserved for chores and puttering around. (And sometimes for biking.) Special events, weekend getaways, and longer trips are plotted on the calendar.

Now, what?

The week opened with a confirmed 2453 cases of COVID-19 in our county, and closed with 2617 (a 6.7% increase). That's trending in the wrong direction, but a consequence of more testing or more viral transmission?